Sometimes it's super unclear just what to do —break up, super unclear just what to do —break up, make up, press pause, go to sleep and hope Enter a gaggle of excellent relationship experts, who told me that there are. Maybe there is something in the air-- a lot of people around me have been struggling with relationship anxiety lately. One friend in particular is trying to recover. He couldn't eat or sleep or even maintain focus, and he was worried that A Canadian “relationship expert” recently launched Renew Breakup.
But when she revealed she was seeing someone else, he was devastated. It was like his body shut down. He couldn't sleep well and felt so unmotivated and lethargic that his dinners soon consisted of beans eaten straight from a can. What can I do to break out of my depression? If, after two months, you feel as rotten as you did the first week you broke up, or if your mood is affecting your work or making it difficult to take care of yourself or your family, it's a sign you may be suffering from a clinical depression.
Talking to your doctor or a counselor can also help speed the healing process. Depression is a serious disease that can be treated with a variety of drugs, but you might find the best help comes from combining them with some type of individual or group therapy that can help you cope with your feelings.
Cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal therapy are two types of therapy that have been shown to help people recover from depression; others may find regular psychotherapy helpful. In part, cognitive behavioral therapy consists of changing negative ways of thinking: Healing from a breakup, in part, requires that you not give into obsessive thoughts about the loved one, and that you not rehearse over and over again what went wrong in the relationship.
Some therapists also suggest relaxation techniques or other behavior modification tools that may help you overcome symptoms of distress. Therapists may also suggest you see a physician who can prescribe antidepressants, while some may suggest herbal supplements.
The effectiveness of herbal remedies is still a matter of debate, however. Although a review of 23 German studies concluded that St.
John's wort, long considered useful in maintaining emotional health, can combat minor bouts of depression as successfully as some antidepressants, a major study published by the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, the Office of Dietary Supplements, and the National Institute of Mental Health found it to be no more effective than a placebo.
Always consult with your doctor before taking herbal supplements because they can interact adversely with other medications, including antidepressants. Also, don't take St. John's wort if you're using HIV drugs or organ transplant medications. Though the temptation to brood may be overwhelming, try not to let yourself sink into apathy and a lethargic state of mind. It can undermine your self-esteem and exacerbate a downward emotional spiral. Keeping to a schedule of seeing friends or exercising will help fill your time while your heart heals.
As you begin to heal, you may also want to consider the following strategies. They can help you pick yourself up and dust yourself off, even if you're not ready to start all over again. Find time to exercise.
Studies have shown that getting at least 30 minutes of exercise at least three times a week can lift your mood as much as taking certain antidepressants. Exercise raises the levels of serotonin, the brain chemical that boosts feelings of well-being.
Joining a group of hikers or tennis players will also get you out of the home, where you're more likely to brood. Isolation can exacerbate depression. Whether it's your family, a formal support group for those going through a breakup or divorce, an informal network of sympathetic friends, a church or synagogue, reaching out to others is crucial in rebuilding your life. Schedule plenty of coffees and lunches with your supportive friends.
If you haven't made a new friend in a while, you can use the gym or your local bookstore to find companions. Watch what you eat and drink. If you're the type of person who doesn't eat or binges when you're depressed, you shouldn't use this time to embark on a diet or go overboard eating chocolate for dinner. Your body as well as your mind will need healing. Try to keep up with vitamins and supplements that you normally take.
Eat the foods that maintain your energy, including fruits and vegetables. Several natural remedies are thought to boost serotonin levels in the brain and help stabilize your mood, including omega-3 essential fatty acids. According to Harvard psychopharmacologist Andrew Stoll, omega-3 fatty acids, which are found naturally in fatty fishes like salmon, play a significant role in healthy brain function and seem to have a preventative or mitigating effect on both depression and bipolar disorder.
You can also get your omega-3 fatty acids courtesy of seafood, but you need to eat fish several times a week to get the full benefit.
Taking fish oil or flaxseed oil supplements containing omega-3s is another option. Although you might be tempted to dull the pain of losing someone with alcohol, consider the effect it will have on your energy level, mental state, and antidepressants you may be taking. It might be healthy to drink moderately up to two drinks a day for men, up to one drink a day for womenbut try not to overdo it.
Since alcohol is a depressant, too much of it may depress you further.
Depression After a Breakup
And remember that with some medications, you shouldn't drink at all. When in doubt, ask your physician. If you've healed enough to venture out of your routine, consider taking a class or otherwise nurturing your creativity. If there's something you've always wanted to learn how to do now may be a good time to try.
Universities, dance studios, and community colleges are good places to find literature, painting, language, sports, writing, and music classes. Creative activities can be outlets for emotions that we don't know how to express in other ways.
Some researchers also believe that brain patterns change and serotonin levels may increase when you're painting, playing music, or engaging in other types of art. Writing in a journal can be not only creative, it can help you get feelings of anger and hurt out. Keeping them inside only adds to depression. Many people forget about giving to the larger community when they're in a relationship. But community services that involve interacting with others or creating a product that helps others is a good way to restore your faith in humanity.
They're also a good way to find new friends.
Depression After a Breakup
Consider a change of scene. This kind of therapy is part of a new niche being carved out by ambitious entrepreneurs offering to help with healing a broken heart.
In other words, the unpleasant work of dumping or being dumped has turned into a booming cottage industry that stands as a very clear response to our modern world.
As we race between meetings, attached to our devices and digital world in our increasingly alienated and decreasingly monogamous lives, severing a relationship in a healing way has become the next frontier in the self-care movement. Five years ago, she was living in Vancouver and preparing for a lifelong future with her first love — until he suddenly broke things off.
Chan struggled to reconceive her individual identity and was thrown into a lengthy bout of depression. In her bid to heal both heart and mind, she tried reiki, therapy and a yoga retreat in Mexico. Writing in New York MagazineLisa Ryan — who attended the first Renew session last winter — noted that some women chopped wood to get out their anger, while others tried acupuncture to help them relax.
The deep despair I felt was echoed back to me, and I left feeling more hopeful that I was going to get through this. How to dump someone on Valentine's Day — or any day — without being a jerk Read more Melody Stone, a year-old user in Reno, Nevada who recently ended an year marriage, says that Mend has been a comfort. That is a way to go through and come out stronger on the other side.