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Eight Mistakes Women Make In Relationships [Tony A. Gaskins Sr.] on Tony Gaskins Jr., and from how his son spoke highly of him and the great advice he. Now obviously when you see the name Tony Gaskins Jr. in the title you . Tagged advice about men, boaz, men and women, relationships. World renown celebrity relationship coach Tony Gaskins always gives great advice and he doesn't hold back when it comes to separating.
But the relationship he had with a girl in West Virginia several years ago while attending West Virginia Wesleyan College on a football scholarship is the one he talks about. They argued repeatedly and in once instance, after catching her talking to a former boyfriend on the telephone, he grabbed her arms, scraping her hard enough to draw blood.
Relationships: Tony Gaskins Reveals Most Common Mistakes Woman Make When Dating
The physical abuse never escalated beyond that point and police were never involved. But it is something fathers forget to talk to their daughters about; mothers forget. I come in now as a mediator speaking to the parents from youth and speaking to the youth from the parents. When he told her not to put up with it, she called him on it, demanding to know why he did the same thing to his girlfriends.
You should write a book for young ladies.How To Get Over Someone - Tony Gaskins, Motivational Speaker, Life Coach
To decide on what topics to discuss, he polled students across the country through Facebook to get questions from women. He then wrote about the 10 most-asked questions. For answers, he looked to himself. In Gaskins' case, he says his anger that lead to the abuse came from being incapable of expressing himself verbally. Unable to hold his emotions in check any longer, he struck out physically, an action he thinks most men who abuse women take.
Writing about it in his book, "I tied it in with learned behavior, suppressed rage and insecurity. For one person to commit the act and for one person to accept it. He speaks softly and is respectful to those older than him. He disdains alcohol and tobacco and has never used drugs. Now 25, he is married and the father of a 2-year-old son.
He lives in Tampa, where he is working to complete requirements for a psychology and criminology degree from the University of South Florida. The book's overall message, which Gaskins speaks with nearly evangelistic feeling, is that youth should identify their gifts, set goals and give their gifts purpose. Eric Robinson, 36, head basketball coach at Auburndale High School, has known Gaskins since he coached him in youth sports leagues.
He admits to being shocked to learn Gaskins abused a girlfriend.
Tony Gaskins, Jr holds counsel in the Bahamas | The Tribune
Robinson said he admires Gaskins for telling his story and he hopes to one day have him speak to young people he coaches so they can learn from his experiences. Gaskins wife of two years, Sheri Chanroo, 22, says she, too, was surprised at Gaskins' admission of an abusive relationship, something she discovered only upon reading the book.
She agreed to marry him anyway, telling him "I'll trust you until you prove otherwise. Other insights Gaskins offers in his book: On why men don't respect celibacy: Why do we find it difficult to let go of people who are hazardous to our health? The most common reason is low self-esteem. Whether they dibble or dabble back and forth, they still find another woman and separate themselves from the relationship.
How exactly does this transfer from high self-esteem and confidence to low self-esteem take place?
So instead he tears her down so that he can feel like more of a person. What are some of the factors that cause a man to do some of these things towards a woman? Men become insecure and controlling and coercive to women because they, themselves, have never been affirmed. They may not have had a parent speak into their life and declare their greatness and help them identify who they are as a person, as an individual and what their gifts are, what their to gifts to the world ought to be and what their purpose is.
As soon as a person starts to treat you differently then you have to call them out on it. A person will treat you how they see you treat yourself.
If you have a family member and the relationship seems to come across as toxic, how do you handle that? I would think that it would be a little more sensitive than the friendship and relationship. Now are you saying family as in brother and sister… EM: I would say immediate family, because I think that it has more of an effect on a person than a distant relative. So within the household; mother, daughter, father, son and siblings.
The kind of relationships that may become co-dependent or toxic how do you suggest a person handle that because of the dynamics?
Even your closest of family will steal your sanity and will steal your peace trying to find their own if you let them. Sometimes you have to let a person go so that they can grow. Sometimes you come to a point where you have to let a person go.
What do you suggest with your clients who seek your assistance with life coaching? I would say hire a coach; not a counselor or therapist because a lot of them who do it are in it for the money. Hire a life coach and then relearn. Now you have to learn what real love is and what a real relationship is, what a real friendship is.
If you take time, time heals all wounds. I absolutely admire the way in which it is written, your straightforwardness. What series of events or turning point occurred that caused you to make a change in your life to become a better man? You know that if you want the situation to change then you have to accept responsibility and change yourself. Therefore at that point I literally had nothing, and at that same time I had almost lost my wife because of my insecurities in myself and searching for myself and the life style that I was living with selling drugs, it made her leave.
I begged her back and the night she came back was that same night I got robbed. I knew that I had to change my life. I had already written the book before I actually made my final transition into becoming a man. I was 23 years old. I wrote the book at At the time when I wrote the book, I just wrote it from my heart and with passion. I wrote it as if I were writing it to my mom or my sister. I was young and I was just very raw and blunt and I was very close to the game and what was going on.
I had just come out of it to a certain degree. I was still in it so I understood the dynamics of men and women. I was writing to young African American females, years of age and how to deal with young African American men like myself at that time.
There was really no loyalty to the game. Basically, I was transitioning and getting ready to change my life and I was probably a few months out from being married; I was in a serious relationship. Therefore it was like me retiring fight there laughing. After reading your book, I learned that you are a very spiritual person.
You make a lot of reference to the Bible. How much of that played a role in your transition? That was the main element of me becoming a man, when I started studying the life of Jesus Christ.